The decision to end your marriage can be one of the hardest choices you’ll ever face. You spend countless days—and nights—bouncing back and forth, questioning yourself. The weight of leaving can feel crushing, almost unbearable. For me, that weight grew heavier the longer I stayed. And when children are involved, the pressure becomes even more intense.
So much of my fear centered around what might happen—all the unknowns that loomed in the distance. But the moment I made the choice to leave, I also made another: to stick with it no matter what came next. A huge part of stepping into a new direction is developing a strong resolve. You can’t reach a higher level if your mind is chained to the one you’re on.
It became clear that nothing was going to improve in my relationship. Marriage should be a sanctuary—a place of respect, support, comfort, and above all, love. When those elements vanish and there’s no sign of their return, you owe it to yourself to move on.
When we stay in relationships that strip us of our basic needs, we are slowly dismantling ourselves. The best years of our lives are wasted on survival mode. Think back to your most productive, joyful years—they weren’t the years you spent fighting just to exist.
Here’s what I would tell myself then, and what I want you to hear now:
Know yourself—and know what you truly need.
Protect the essence of who you are.
Walk away from anything that threatens the peace of your mind.
And, importantly, protect your personal security throughout this journey. If you decide to leave, create a safety plan: share your intentions with trusted friends or family, document important information, and consider consulting professionals for legal and emotional support. Change passwords on devices, secure finances, and ensure your children’s safety is prioritized. Remember, self-care includes physical and emotional safety.
At this stage of my life, I’m really proud that I chose myself. That decision not only gave me the chance to grow, but also to focus on things bigger than me. Today, I’m on an amazing quest to discover what matters most—and to make an impact on the world in a meaningful way.
Life is best lived when we create and maintain an environment that allows us to breathe, grow, and thrive. In that space, we not only become our best selves—we leave a legacy for those who come after us.
Regina H, Alimonia Life
